One of the challenges of life is its subtlety. We crave for what we don’t have and despise what we do have. It makes no difference that sometimes what we don’t have does not compare with what we do have. This happens a lot in relationships – marriages in particular. Many times, you see married persons despise their partners for the beauty and virtues they think they see in other people. In fact, many times, they feel like they made a mistake and should have really married those other persons. It does not occur to them that the reason why they now see these many faults in their partners is because they are now married to them. After all, when they married their partners, they also saw no faults. Some people actually go ahead and divorce the persons they married and grab their new fantasy only to eventually discover that “human being na human being”.
It’s amazing! You see someone for the first time and you fall for them. You want them. They have no faults and can do no wrongs. Everything they do is right. They talk right, walk right, speak right, sing right, etc. As a relationship coach, there have been countless times I have counselled a couple getting ready to marry and I ask them what faults they see in each other. Wrong question! There are no faults. They see no REAL faults in each other. Really! You mean you see no FAULTS in a HUMAN BEING. Wow! Funny enough, by the time the same persons are married for just a few months, they start getting all kinds of revelations that may be they didn’t hear God well. Sometimes they find that the person they were married to before had 70% of what they needed, while their new catch had 30%.
The truth is, people are people. The beauty of your marriage is not dependent on who you married. It is dependent on your commitment to do everything needed to make your marriage beautiful. Now, the next time you are tempted to despise who you have in favour of who you don’t have beware that life may be playing tricks on you. #TheWorldchanger Anya Oko
No comments:
Post a Comment